Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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