yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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