maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
