Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
