He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
