I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
