id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I would ride that face into the sunset
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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