i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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