Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize