Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
