Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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