wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
