Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
