I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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