he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
