Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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