yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
