awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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