But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
