I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
PANTIES FOUND
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