She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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