I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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