Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
