New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
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don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
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im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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