And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
