the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
