if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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