Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
