just come out here and I will go home with you...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
