fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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