Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
