So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
