We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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