I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Randomize
