I skipped work to stalk him.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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