dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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