Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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