I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
