my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
