i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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