we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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