I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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