We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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