Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
