he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
