I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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