I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
