My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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