I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I still have a little drunk in my system
Drake has all the answers
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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