I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
