My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
they need to just BURY HIM!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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