just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
