I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So much Jack, so little girl.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
