My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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