You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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