I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
