I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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